by Alexander Saxton
OTTAWA - In what is being hailed as a victory for diversity, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau has dropped several hints in the last week that the nation’s next head of state may well be a human-sized Canada Goose.“I have a feeling that I may well be explaining my choice by saying ‘because it’s 2017,’” said Trudeau, when asked who he was considering for the office. ‘It’s important that we have a Governor General who looks like Canada does.”
Trudeau then winked at the audience, before hissing like a goose and flapping his arms...Continue reading...
Justin Trudeau demands ISIS reduce greenhouse gas emissions by 20%by Eric Turkienicz
PARIS – In an impassioned speech at the Paris Climate Summit on Tuesday, Prime Minister Justin Trudeau issued a public demand that the Islamic State of Iraq and Syria (ISIS) immediately take steps to reduce production of harmful emissions by 20%.
...“The line must be drawn here!” Trudeau continued in his fiery speech, “ISIS is a fanatical regime dedicated to the deaths of all its perceived enemies. It is Canada’s role – no – its responsibility to respectfully educate ISIS that if it does not swiftly change their environmental policies, there will be no earth left to murder people on.”
At press time Trudeau was also hoping to convince Boko Haram to purchase machetes made of recycled metals. Read article here.